They're in the cave behind spider egg

Are you sure that they're not still stored on your boat? If so, you need to upload them to your Warehouse.

When you get to a certain level, every day, 2 islands will ''refresh'' with maps to find. When you click on your boat and ''venture on expedition,'' you will see the islands. The islands will have fragments of map showing. Click on those islands and find the maps. Make sure that your boat is not full before setting off. If the maps are not showing, you have not reached the required level, and will have to keep on playing and finishing quests until you do.

Click on what you need, and (apart from Stone Quarry, it seems!) it will take you to the appropriate place to make the item. If it doesn't, it means that you don't have that facility as yet, and you will have to keep playing, and finish other quests, until you have that item to buy and build.

produce in Incubator

click: boat, top left click Upgrade; parts are found on islands or purchased from store with currency earned on islands

The spider lair will be above and to the right of the original spot of the pyramid. You will need to follow the main quests to get to the Spider Lair. It'll then take a total of 10 produce to get 2 spider legs. 5 to lure the spider out, 5 to beat the spider.

Can I ask what level is that on?

It really putting me off from the game

The game is supposed to be fun and to have a character respond in such a demeaning way was the factor that ended my days of playing the game.