The Jew is one of the classes available to the player upon character creation, and is described as a class with a lot of risk involved. It is a cross between a Paladin and a Monk, with the added incentive of dealing more damage as the character's HP gets lower.
| Sling of David | |
|---|---|
| Sling of David | Casts the first stone at any enemy. Deals more damage if done perfectly, but can lead to self-injury if done improperly. |
| Smiting Stones | Increased the damage of your sling. |
| Attention Getter | Causes enemies to stop using abilities and focus on you--enemies suffer Pissed and Attack Down status effects. |
| Killing Two Birds | Your sling attacks now bounce to a random additional target. |
| Divine Retribution | With this upgrade, your Sling of David attacks gain inflict extra damage as your hit points decrease. |
| Jew-Jitsu | |
| Jew-Jitsu | Utilizes a secret Jewish martial art to pummel your target with a stunning strike. |
| Krav Magawesome | Increases the damage dealt by your Jew-Jitsu attacks. |
| Eye for an Eye | On a perfect success, your stunning punch now deals bonus damage based on your missing HP. |
| Shielf of the Righteous | After a successful attack, you are now protected by a divine shield that completely stops the next hit. |
| Mitzvah of Speed | On a perfect success, gain haste and take two actions on your following turn. |
| Circum-Scythe | |
| Circum-Scythe | Slices off the armor and shields of your target while inflicting a bleeding damage to a sensitive area. |
| The Mohel the Merrier | Increases the damage of your Circum-Scythe attacks. |
| A Closer Shave | On a perfect success, Circum-Scythe now inflicts two stacks of Bleeding. |
| Shear Agony | Circum-Scythe now inflicts Defense Down. |
| Terrify the Uncleansed | Your Circum-Scythe attack now leaves all other enemies grossed out. |
| Whirling Doom | |
| Whirling Doom | Sends your dreidel bouncing between random enemies, stripping away all beneficial status effects from all enemies hit. |
| Hei Damage | In case of emergency, your dreidel may be used as a rotation device, dealing more damage with each bounce! |
| Spinagogue | Studying ancient scrolls has improved your technique, causing your dreidel to bounce more times. |
| Yum Kippurge | On a perfect success, Whirling Doom now removes all negative status effects on the New Kid. |
| Return of the Prophet | The epic spin of your dreidel now summons a prophet of old, inflicting burning with its holy power. |
| Plagues of Egypt | |
| Plagues of Egypt | Summon a mix of pestilence, fiery hail, frogs, and flying insects and deliver woe unto all your enemies. |
| Smite the Unclean | Sinners beware, your plagues now inflict more damage. |
| Divine Fury | Each time you visit pestilence or fiery hail upon your foes, you and your buddy gain Attack Up. |
| Natures Wrath | Each time you visit frogs or flying insects upon your foes, you and your buddy gain Ability Up. |
| Lord of the Plague | You may visit an additional plague upon the wicked during your turn. |
