This quest automatically begins at the end of Defeat the Underpants Gnomes, with you having to go meet up with everyone at the Elven Kingdom. It's time to join forces together, as well as recruit some new partners. Note that Kyle and Cartman are now your Buddies, so you can bring them into battle.
Recruit the Girls
The girl you need to speak with, Annie, is in front of City Hall and if you didn't help her before, then you need to defeat the girls bothering her first. She will take you to the girls, who ask you to do something for them before they CONSIDER your request for them to join the boys.
Pose as Bebe's Boyfriend
The girls want you to pose as Bebe's boyfriend and see if Monica Ryland is a manipulative bitch or not. She is waiting for you at the park, so head on over there. You'll find her on the bench on the right hand side of the park and upon talking to her, some things will be said and you'll be pushed into a battle with Jake, Monica's boyfriend.
It's a pretty easy fight and not one you'll have trouble with, so return to Annie after the fight. She'll bring you back to the girls, who suspect someone else. This time, they want you to go into the abortion clinic dressed up as a girl, so they decide to do a makeover. Just pick whatever they find to be good, as it doesn't really matter in the end, which will bring this portion of the quest to an end.
Unplanned Parenthood
Head inside the abortion clinic and speak to the receptionist to be allowed in the back. The first room you come across is the Records Room, but you cannot get in like you are now, so continue to the Operating Room to the right.
The doctor will look at you and attempt an abortion, and you'll be prompted to mash the button to clench your sphincter. Fill the bar and the doctor's machine will break, making him leave. This allows you to explore the room, so go to the right and find the Surgical equipment and then equip it.
Go into the Records Room and examine the box on the floor marked "2013." A cutscene will occur and now you'll be locked in the room. You should see a small hole in the wall, so shrink down with Gnome Dust and go in it to appear underneath the floor. Shoot the pipe above the rats to make the soldiers kill them, then do the same thing with the zombie gnomes, leaving one alive to battle.
Keep going right and hit the wires with your weapon, sparking a flame that you can fart on to make them explode, then climb the thing in the back. You'll appear in a room with Randy laying down, who says to put on your doctor's clothes again. Do so and follow the prompts for the "abortion," which will fool the soldiers.
With that out of the way, exit the door and now the abortion clinic will be overrun by zombie fetuses. Feel free to attack the ones feasting on the dead soldiers, then continue to the left. Shoot the glimmering objects above the rats and then shrink down, allowing you to climb upward to fight the rats.
Go through the vent and make your way across, just hitting the small rats with your weapon (you can also fart on them). On the other side, you'll be in a room with a gatling gun on the far end, a dead soldier holding a grenade and some broken pipes with water coming out.
You can shoot the grenade in the soldier's hand, blowing up the wall behind him, allowing you to shrink down and grab a Chinpokomon. To continue, use the alien probe to go in the background and shut off the water with the valve. With the water off, teleport into the left pipe and shoot the vent panel down to destroy the gatling gun.
Use your Cup-a-Spell to blow up the gun and continue left to fight more fetuses. Go through the door and get ready for another boss fight!
| BOSS: Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus |
| Despite there only being one enemy here, you have two targets to worry about, one being the fetus and the other being the umbilical cord. The fetus is immune to sleep, stun, pissed and gross, but it is susceptible to burning. The primary target for now should be the umbilical cord, as its only attack is to siphon health and restore it to the fetus. The fetus' main attacks can inflict Gross on your characters, so make sure you try and guard the attacks so this doesn't happen. Its strongest attack is likely Vomit Blast, which hits both characters for a high amount of damage. When the umbilical cord is finished, it's a matter of simply whittling down its HP. |
Return to Annie at City Hall and the girls will thank you, but the abortion records are in French, so they ask you to get them translated first before they can fight with the boys. Speak with the boys and they say the language on the documents is from the kingdom to the north.
Heading North
Before you head off to the north, you'll have to drop by the Photo Dojo, which is located two doors to the east of the abortion clinic. Talk to the clerk and head to the back room, agreeing with the cameraman to remove clothes until you have to battle him (he's a pedophile). Finish the battle and you will get your passport.
Head to the upper right of the map and into the Lost Forest; if rats are blocking the way, use Dragonshout to clear them. Once you are in the Lost Forest, just head north four times to appear at the Canadian border. Talk to the guard and he'll let you through. Go north and into the town of Ottawa.
| In order to buy purchase anything, you will need to exchange your American money into Canadian via the bank, which is marked with the money icon. |
When you're finished exploring Ottawa (there isn't much), head into the big building and speak with the Prince of Canada. He doesn't recognize the language written on paper and directs you to go to the Earl of Winnipeg, and also warns you of the dire wolves.
O Canada
Exit Ottawa and head past the town, fighting the wolves in the area if you want. You can't do anything in the cave yet, so don't bother going inside. Head inside Winnipeg and going into the building in the north, where the Earl of Winnipeg is located. He'll agree to help you out if you eradicate the Dire Bears in the north part of town.
The Dire Bears aren't too much harder than the wolves, so kill them and bring the three pelts you get back to the Earl of Winnipeg. He knows where the language on the document came from and sends you back to the Prince of Canada. He asks you to kill the Bishop of Banff and bring his balls back to him, in order to free the Minister of Montreal.
| In order to get the More Popular Than John Lennon achievement/trophy, you must not kill the Bishop of Banff after you battle him. Also, you can get Dire AIDS from the Snakes, Bears or Wolves you fight right outside of Banff. This status ailment is not curable by drinking a Cure Potion. The thing about this ailment is that it is related to a trophy/achievement. In fact, you must keep it on your character and defeat the final boss to get the achievement/trophy. |
Hit the Bishop of Banff to begin the battle. He has decent armor, so make sure you use Bull Rush to cut the armor in half, allowing you to do more damage. He can heal himself and also has a few other attacks that can do big damage if not blocked. After the battle, you have the option to kill him (read note above) or take the Dire Pig testicles back to the Prince of Canada.
Whichever option you choose, head back to the Prince of Canada and he'll say he can't free the Minister of Montreal. However, the Princess will tell you to go see the Duke of Vancouver now. Speak with him and he says that only the "monks" living in the southeast of town can teach you the magic needed to traverse the catacombs.
You should see the small dock on the southern end of the town. Just "walk" off this and you will be in a boat you can use to reach the other side. Inside the building to the southeast should be Terrance and Phillip. You must use each of your farts on them, starting with Dragonshout and then the Sneaky Squeaker last. They will teach you the last fart, the Nagasaki.
Now you can head to the cave you saw when you first entered Canada, which is the Catacombs of Quebec. Destroy the barrier with your Nagasaki and fight the animals blocking the way to the Minister of Montreal. Note that you will miss out on the Truth to Power achievement/trophy if you talk to the Minster before farting on him.
Head back to City Hall in South Park and speak to Annie to get back to the girls, who will now play the game with the boys. Go back to Kyle and speak with him, which will send you off to Clyde's house.
| After finishing up Recruit the Girls, you have to return to speak with Kyle. Although you will be able to freely explore South Park after finishing the game, speaking with Kyle is the POINT OF NO RETURN for now. |
